Traditionally, people wait until the new year's arrival to dish out resolutions.[Also,most people make resolutions and stick with them for a month & decide to ditch them or just forget about them--I've been there,done that before.]But this year,I'm making my resolutions a bit early.I've actually been working on my resolutions through out this whole year and made new one's mid-year.Now with the year ending [and new,exciting things happening suddenly] I've decided to ditch waiting for 2010 and just go with this good flow & start early.

  I'm making a list of things that I need to work on...and through out the year I'm pretty sure I'll make more.I'm all about self-improvement.It feels good.

1.Gain [a little more]confidence.

I consider myself pretty confident.At times.But I do admit that almost everyday I compare myself to a friend [or even a stranger] when it comes to looks & lifestyle and I feel pretty shitty due to the fact that I'm not like them.I get caught up in depression because of that & it often leads to me singling my self out and becoming anti-social.Most people look at me and they think I'm one of the most confident people they know.I appear to be happy.But a lot of times I'm not.It's all mental!I need to start reminding myself that I am somebody,that I am smart,that I am beautiful and that I will achieve all of my goals one day if not soon.I have a tendency to mentally beat myself up.And I hate that.Well,I've had enough!I've been going through this way too long and I am sick of it.I will no longer trick myself into believing that I'm a nobody.I am somebody.And if I have to,I will remind myself everyday.

2.Become a pescetarian.

I'm all for non-animal testing and against all the animal abuse out there in the world.But to be honest,that's not why I'm deciding on becoming a pescetarian.I'm tired of eating meat and feeling disgusting afterwards.I'm tired of eating chicken and being grossed out just looking at all the veins and stuff.It's a personal decision.Most vegans/vegetarians look at pescetarians as posers & act quite bitter towards them[I've seen it in action.]I actually don't even want to put a label on myself or anything I practice.I want to be healthy.I want to feel healthy.I want to look healthy.I can go without all the red meats & pork and all that stuff.I'm satisfied by eating fruits,vegetables,veggie foods & occasionally a little fish.It's not about ethics;it's about me.

3.Start designing+sewing my own clothes.

Well, start designing and sewing my own clothes again.I took a very long break but now I've been crazy inspired & I'm going to start again!I'm thinking about making dresses,skirts and blouses.Excited!I currently don't have a sewing machine [just a container of needles & a spool of thread] which is fine with me.But trust I will be heading to Urban Outfitters next week and getting that mini machine that they sell until I can afford to get an actual machine.Can't wait.

4.Get my driver's license.

I've held back on getting my license for years because my father was killed in his car and I was traumatized from driving because of it.I've grown up now and I definitely need to have a license because it is impossible for me to get around town nowadays,especially at night.It's been difficult & I've grown kind of impatient with Los Angeles public transportation.So,I'm going to be an adult & get my license.I drive perfectly fine,I've been doing so for years but I guess that with me getting my license I felt obligated to get a car and that thought just freaked me out.I don't know.Personal issues.Like I said,I'm over it now & I'm going to get my driver's permit either this week or next week.I'm going to have to rent a car to take my driver's test [which is cool with me] and hopefully I pass and get my license.I'm not going to allow myself to fail.I need my license!

5.Get a car.

Well,getting a license is pointless if you don't plan on getting a car,ya know?I'm going to save,save,save and by the spring time I plan on having a car!I'm thinking of used cars [new cars=not in my budget] and I hope I can get the kind I want.Maybe a scion,prius,vintage mercedes,vw...anything reliable basically.Ha.Can't be too picky when it comes to buying your first car with your own money [and not your parents].I hope I get lucky and snag a deal somewhere.

6.Finish Cosmetology school.

I started beauty school late this year and I want to finish it.I loved it [my budget didn't].I can't wait to be a licensed beautician.I've been doing hair and make-up since I was a young child [with my kind of hair,I better had learned] and I can just see myself doing hair & make-up on photo shoots and at fashion shows.The possibilities are endless with a Cosmetology license.

7.Move into my own apartment.

This is actually one of my top priorities.I moved out of my mom's house at a young age and when you get a taste of that it's tough to live under your mother's roof again.No,tough isn't the word.It's hell.It's not hell because it's my mom's house,it's hell because I have no room,no bed,no space,no privacy...nothing!But I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and that she allowed me to stay here.So,thanks mom.But,I need my own place.And it needs to happen soon.I've been eye-balling some apartments Silverlake,Santa Monica and Venice.I've been checking out the prices,seeing how much money I should be saving & hopefully I'll be out of here in no time.And by no time I mean within two months.Ha!I'm desperate.And for real.

And....

8.Spend more time with the ones I love.

9.Meet more people.

10.Network,network,network!

To some people these resolutions/goals may seem a bit ordinary..or maybe a bit far-fetched.But it's possible.I've done so many things in my life that people said were impossible.I'm ready to live my life the way I want to live it.-12|10|09